Hope...

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, when my home is quiet, my boys are asleep soundly in thier room, my husband is sleeping with his arm around my waist, I think about how truly blessed I am. I think of how successfully I've turned my life around and made a family and home for a very special man and three wonderful boys.

Still, as I lay here surrounded by love and happiness, I think of that dark cloud that's never quite far enough out of the picture. It's not the type of storm cloud that farmers watch for to bring that much needed moisture to his crops. It's not the kind of storm cloud that hunters watch and hope for on opening day. It's not the first rain of fall that softens the brittle grass at the end of summer. Rather it is a dark, monsterous cloud with nothing but hail that beats down and lightning that strikes and burns. It is a -nothing good can come of it- cloud.

The thing about this cloud is that it isolates you, causes doubt in yourself and your preparation for the storm. It worries you, causes stress and panic. This cloud causes you to feel as if, even though there are those you love standing at your side, you are weathering it's storm all alone. You are an island of one under an ominous force, when all the rest of humanity is frolicking in the sun.

This, of course, is not the case by any means. I realize that each and every person has thier own scary cloud. Tonight a friend of mine stopped by. She, too, has a storm cloud. She, too, weathers it the very best she can. She recounts stories that I could easily remove her from, insert myself, and no one would know the difference, the storms are so similar. She too has a loving husband who is by her side at every chance of precipitation, but she too feels as though sometimes she's all alone in her worry of the coming storm because in the end it is she, alone, who must fight the hail. It is comforting to know, however, that in our loneliest, most desperate hour beneath the coming storm, even with our loved ones near, there is another human, in another situation, fretting, worrying, hoping.

I suppose that is the point of this entire story. Hope. There is always hope. Even when you think there is no hope. Even when you think there is not another single person that you think would understand, that really knows. There is hope that there is. And that person you're thinking of has hope there's someone like you hoping too. Weather the storm, deal with the hail, let the lightning strike. For there is ALWAYS a rainbow after a storm. There will be for each of us. That's the way it is, we just have to hope for it.